Selective Amnesia

A Facebook meme crossed my timeline today that asked the question, "What would you tell me if I lost my memory?" In other words, what would you want me to know?

I don't know how many of you are like me, but my first thought was about how nice it would be to lose all memory of the evils I have committed in my thoughts, the words from my mouth, and my deeds. Not all of my sins of the past are at the forefront of my mind, but don't we all have some (or a lot) that are only a subtle trigger or a quiet, pensive moment away from recall? 

Part of that curse of living with past sins is that Satan loves to remind us of how we've messed up or done evil. Even though Satan, whose other common name is the Devil, knows that God forgives all sin equally and irrevocably, his devious scheme is to drive doubt into our hearts that it can be so, and the more he gets us to remember our sins, the easier it can become to doubt God's forgiveness. 

We can live lives of "quiet desperation" (to quote Thoreau), where that desperation is rendered from a feeling that, despite the Gospel message, we still stand in shame, accused. In fact, that's what "the devil" means. Its Greek word διάβολος  (pronounced "dee-AH-bo-los" - think "diablo" or "diabolical") means "the accuser." That's his baddest trick. Accusing God's forgiven people and fooling them into forgetting grace by overwhelming them with the ghosts of their sins. 

In that first moment of reading the question of the Facebook meme, I almost felt a little stutter of the heart, signalling a hopeful "What if?" My inmost self actually instinctively wanted the prospect of my memory slate being wiped clean. It wasn't until my second moment of reaction that I realized all the beautiful things from my life - all gifts from God, made possible only because he has grace for me, because Jesus died to erase my sins - would be lost memories too. Imagine that: holding in one hand all your bloody, lustful, greedy, arrogant iniquities, and in your other, holding your proverbial photo album/video archive of every dear moment in your life....and actually considering letting go of the latter just to be rid of the former!

What would you choose, if you could? That's where I was...but thankfully, only for a moment. Then that moment was ended by truth coming back to my mind, to blow away the yearning for memory loss like a soothing southern wind on a chilly day in March. In swept words that I've known, but that, if Satan had his way, would be forgotten:

" 'This is the covenant I will make with

them...' says the Lord. ' I will put my

laws in their hearts, and I will write 

them on their minds.'

Then he adds:

'Their sins and lawless acts I will

remember no more.' "

(Hebrews 10:17)

That's what the symbol of the cross stands for. That my sin and yours has been acquitted, and dismissed from our record. God could be a harsh judge and hold it against us, as we do to ourselves. But he can't. He is a holy God who is bound by his own ideal that he will honor the sacrifice of Jesus. As part of his covenant of love (unconditional, undeserved) for people who follow him, God has to forget our sins. He "will remember them no more." He chooses, rather he selects, amnesia of our sinfulness. It's gone. Poof. Erased forever at the cross. 

Sometimes this prospect of forgiving myself as God already has seems impossible. Does it ever weigh you down too? Does it ever hold you back from things in life? Does it maybe just linger, like a pesky, haunting little spook that hangs out in the back of your mind, eroding your true joy in daily living? 

It's not impossible to let it go. It's not impossible to forget. It wouldn't require some all-or-nothing mind wipe either. We wouldn't have to be strapped into a lab gurney with electrodes and a metal crown of probes from some sci-fi film that would zap all memory out of us, just to rid us of the guilt. 

With Jesus, it can be left behind. Satan's accusing voice can be shut up. To quote a song from the Christian band Sanctus Real, "just hold onto the promises."

Youtube video of Sanctus Real music video "Promises"

Hold on to the promise that Christ made through his act of laying down his life on the cross, for you and me. Hold on to the promise he made by rising again from his grave to defeat even death. Hold on to the promise he made when, as he left Earth for Heaven, he told his disciples watching him rise into the clouds, "Surely I am with you always, even to the end of time" (Matthew 28:20). Hold on to the promise he made when he said, earlier in his lifetime, "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am" (John 14:3). 

Hold on to the promises of God. He will remember our sins no more. He selects forgetting them. He chooses to lose those memories. So can we. It is possible!

And we can keep the beautiful memories at the same time.