It's confrontation with yourself - with brutal reality.
Have you ever had that moment where you went through an experience and left it behind feeling somewhat content with the results, until someone else offered a different, more honest perspective about that same thing? What happens inside you when that takes place? Maybe we face it, fess up, and fuss not. Or maybe we duck the clobbering swing of that truth and hide behind the convenient excuse of "good enough" or another justification.
I had the privilege of sharing in a similar experience very recently with a business partner. We were chatting about something that had taken place in our business where the result didn't go as hoped for, and even ended up being different than what it originally looked like it would be. The bottom line of this personal scenario was: my friend and business partner was willing to stare straight at the "scoreboard" of our situation, acknowledge it without wavering, and then ask the difficult questions so that we could hopefully grow from the learning. I, however, was a little more reluctant. I was willing to embrace the possibility of gray area that could slightly let us off the hook. I was willing to offer the possibility that we were being too hard on ourselves regarding the outcome. I was even enticed by the very crafty logic that "there is defeat in every victory, and victory in every defeat," therefore we should just focus on the victory in our defeat.
The trouble with this type of thinking is that it gets us nowhere. To run from brutal reality is only to stunt your own growth, and potential for being a leader. To borrow from the wonderful world of sports, imagine it's halftime of a 24-0 whupping, the coach of his football team (who's receiving said whupping) tells his troops "You know what, guys... 24-0 ain't so bad. I think there's a lot to feel good about in that half. After all, we're not down 38-0! There's probably 2 touchdowns in there somewhere that we didn't give up." Would that coach be doing his men much good by suggesting their scoreboard's display wasn't so bad? Certainly not. Rather, confronting the reality that they need to go out and not only score 4 touchdowns, but also play immaculate defense the whole second half, in order to win, is exactly what should happen. That requires being tough on oneself.
In personal growth, in business, in one's role in their family....in everything, we experience so much good from being willing to accept blame where blame is due. It's just the other side of the fairness coin, where we all agree that it's ok to accept praise where praise is due. For, as the joking expression goes, "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt." In order to change what's wrong, we have to accept it as wrong in the first place. We must be open to the reality that we aren't perfect, that mistakes will happen, and that only through learning from those mistakes can any future victories occur.
So I'm thankful for the courage and integrity and hunger for excellence exhibited by my friend and business partner. He is worthy of the successes he'll receive in due time, because he is not only leading himself in the pivotal area of accepting blame for areas of failure and vowing to learn how to change through proper analysis and game-planning, but he's also leading others who would be wise to follow his example. I am blessed to associate with people who will set that example for me.
Now the question is: What brutal realities do you need to face? What blame have you been dodging, and thus stunting your own personal growth? Where can you potentially find the freeing experience of seeking out and learning from failures displayed on life's scoreboard? Really, in this regard, the truth does set you free. It sets you free to move beyond stubbornness and pride. It sets you free to leave behind mediocrity because you won't take the excuses others accept for themselves. It sets you free to grow into the most excellent version of yourself you were made to be. And in so doing, you make of yourself just one more brushstroke in your life's canvass painting of positive influence on the world around you.
And that influence, friends, is after all, the definition of leadership.
Let's go have some confrontations!
God's blessings.
P.S. And to my good friend and business partner, herein mentioned, thank you. You know who you are. I'm blessed to have your leadership in my life. Keep doing what you do!
