Like a Sore Thumb

                 (Originally published 4/23/14)

"What you've called me to do

is the opposite of hide

Oh God, I want to break through

When I'm surrounded by midnight

Just like the stars..."

The words above, lyrics written to a song called "Torch," by Russian Christian rockers Everfound, pretty much sum up how I feel lately. I know that hiding my faith is not a conscious phenomenon, but it still happens so often. 

There's no real reason to hide my Christianity. I don't have the excuse of the young men in the aforementioned band, whose motherland hosted harsh persecution for Christians in past generations. I don't have to keep it all underground or disguised under secular forums like Christians in China these days. I don't have to worry about being ostracized like I would if I were a Christian in an Islamic territory. Sure, the United States is becoming increasingly more hostile towards Christian values and thinking, but not towards Christians themselves. 

Yet I still find myself being more adamant about my principles when I'm discussing something with another Christian. I still find myself being bolder about the passions of my faith when I'm driving down the road, thinking about scenarios that may not happen. And I sure have fire in my soul when I'm at church, lifting up worship with the safety of 300 other Jesus-followers on a Sunday morning. 

But when was the last time I went on trial for my savior?

When was the last time I let myself stick out like a sore thumb?

I'm reminded of a story I heard many years ago in a sermon. A lumberjack went away to work in Alaska for a summer, leaving his family and friends behind. He was a Christian, so he wondered how tough it would be to blend in with all of the rough-and-tumble of the lumber industry crowd. When he returned home months later, he was filling his family in on all of his adventures and learning experiences, when one relative asked, "So, what was it like being a devout Christian in an atmosphere like that? I've heard that's a pretty crude bunch to associate with." The man shrugged, thought for a moment, and said, "Well it never really came up. I guess I blended in just fine." Then his face fell, and he realized why that was....

Sometimes I wonder if I would have to give the same report about myself in my job or how my life goes in public. Do I content myself to count on people merely thinking I'm a nice guy? Do I hope that it's good enough that I'm kind and respectful and agreeable, most of the time, and expect them to draw the conclusion on their own? 

Or do I fall for the lie that I shouldn't want to stick out in an awkward way and be "one of those people," the type that nobody can relate to because all they talk about is God? Do I fall for the lie that it's just best to be politically correct in the workplace and do as all supervisors or sales trainers will tell you: "Avoid the two big no-no's - religion and politics"?

Late this last Saturday night, the night before Easter, I was walking out of a movie theater after viewing the movie "God's Not Dead" with my brother. A cinematic experience to remember in itself, to be sure, but also a poignant and inspiring reminder. I guess I ducked the swift punch many young adult Christians get blasted with on the American university scene, by choosing to attend a small, quaint, Lutheran ministry college. But I've certainly had my share of opportunity in years since, to witness how darkened are the hearts of men and women in this land. I've had my fair share of moments when I've felt enshrouded by the midnight of a fallen generation and the pitch black of a society that has truly turned its back on the one true God. 

But I wonder how embarrassed I'd be if I saw a highlight reel of all the moments I missed when I could've played the part, in my own way, of the college freshman in the movie "God's Not Dead," who stood up to his atheist philosophy professor, refusing to denounce his religious views for scholastic purposes. 

But that's what it all boils down to, isn't it? Embarrassment. We seek approval of others at such a high cost that we begin to care more about what they think of us, or how we'll fit in with them, than we do about what our own Creator thinks of us. In those multitudinous missed moments, we fear being embarrassed before men more than being embarrassed about the gospel or our life-and-death relationship with Jesus Christ.

"Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven," Jesus said in Matthew 10:32. 

This passage was referred by a pastor to the young man in the movie who was preparing to debate his professor on the existence of God. In light of straightforward Scripture verses like this, how could I ever forget to be watchful for opportunities to live my faith and speak it before others as well? 

It's not about seeking martyrdom. God doesn't want needless sacrifice, lest we fall into the lie that some flamboyant display of piety will be enough for God to favor us. Our hearts are naked to the Almighty God, and he knows when our intentions are pure as well as when they're phony. What we can do, though, is calmly be prepared to simply state the truth as we know it whenever the moment arises. We must be like any responsible citizen who, when asked to bear testimony about an act committed in public, simply and honestly tells the facts. Christians must tell it like it is, in respect to Jesus Christ. 

Granted, all of this falls under the umbrella of wanting to be able to forge meaningful human relationships with those who need the benefit of our testimony. But we will not be timid when God's presence, truth, or name are affronted, as is so often the case in our culture. We will not shrink back when someone asks why we feel the way we do about a topic, and the answer simply has to be "Because God is my source of truth and he says that it's this way....." And we must never stop being lights - torches, if you will - shining as brightly as is needed in the midnight. Even when we go about our daily activities in daylight, make no mistake about it: in spiritual terms, we walk about in this world in constant darkness. The darkness consumes all those whose souls don't yet belong to Jesus. They are inevitably hopeless and feel their demise looming near. Without our blazing torches passing by closely enough and brightly enough, how can they see where light and hope are to be found? Without our light beaming brightly enough, how will they find their way out of this midnight into the arms of their Great Shepherd? 

"And if it rains or pours,

I'm screaming I am Yours,

And no one will ignore

who I'm living for...

I'm carrying the torch."

-Everfound

Lord, God, give me the courage I need, which I so often lack,

to stand tall among the unbelieving throngs around me.

Help me remember all that you went through to obtain me from

the darkness, and how dearly it cost you to be able to call me 

your own. Help me to stop valuing the approval of men 

more than my relationship with Jesus, and YOUR approval, Father!

Help me see those opportunities to shine brightly, and 

lead those who are lost in the darkness into your loving embrace

through my testimony and bravery to acknowledge you!

Help me carry my torch for you, and stick out

like a sore thumb if need be!

Amen.

The End Result

                                                              (Originally published 4/2/14)

"Begin with the ending in mind," it has been said...

God did, that's for sure. Even a faulty human mind, tainted by sinful pride, and dulled by lack of eternal perspective, can easily discern through an historical outlook that God has certainly carried out a master plan that has a distinct purpose. 

But why is it so difficult for me to keep the end result in mind? I so often forget that, if God wants to accomplish something specific and wonderful through my life, He's going to do it HIS way, not mine. Not that God will always go the opposite way of how we operate; rather, His ways are higher than ours. I just simply can't begin to fathom the depth and artistry of His plan. I am merely along for the ride. 

I'm thinking today of learning lessons. I know God has valuable lessons in store for me to learn. Sometimes I can feel that I'm in the thick of learning one right now. Or I can sense that there's one right around the corner. But when that desire arises to go through those lessons to emerge as a better, more faithful man, oh, how often do I get hung up on how the lesson's template should appear! Imagine that - I actually get it in my head that I, a speck in comparison to the Almighty Creator of all that exists, can predict, propose, or propagate the way that lesson should be carried out in my life!

How foolish we men (and I'm not letting ladies off the hook here, I mean "mankind" -- but yes, ladies, we men are foolish in our own right) can be sometimes. The intentions are good. Satan takes those intentions, though, and twists them into a corrupted paradigm in my head until I'm distracted away from the ultimate goal God my Father has in mind for me, and I'm stuck focusing on the intricate details. 

It's not the manner in which the lesson is learned that's important. What I mean is, it shouldn't be important to me; it shouldn't concern me...as if somehow my Heavenly Father could mess it up if we're not in continual conference over the matter. Trust, as always, is the key. In all things God wants my eyes fixed on Jesus and His cross, rather than on the process he's rolling out in my life. 

In the end, all I want is for Christ to be glorified through me, and for my fellow man (young, old, black, white, brown, male, female, believer or unbeliever) to be benefited for this life and for their eternity. If that's God's end goal too - and I know it is because He reveals that through His Word - then why don't I just sit back and accept the classroom of my life in whatever format He has in mind? 

The reassuring part in all of this is: God's will is accomplished no matter what. Throughout history, evil men have tried intentionally to stand in God's way. God has worked around, and even THROUGH, them for thousands of years. So, how much more can He keep on working through a man who, through the merits of Jesus, is a saint and a righteous person in God's eyes, whose earthly will is for what is good and noble! This truth is comfort to my plagued conscience like warm, fresh sunshine to new emerging grass in spring.

Teach on, Father! I'm ready and willing! Refine me at all costs!  

30 Pieces

(Originally published 3/24/14)

In the season of Lent the journey to penitence follows darker paths. We mentally replace our designer jeans and Aeropostale shirts with sackcloth. We replace makeup with a smear of black ash. We lower lights in our souls and give a more careful ear to the doleful strings arrangements in music, and, even though we know we should practice true repentance 365 days a year, we know the value in harkening to it now, while the religious world takes the time to think back on the sufferings of an innocent man who claimed to be God, was killed for it, and who rose from his own grave back to the living.

Along these darker paths we must tread in our Lenten journey we encounter one really infamous character – Judas Iscariot. We’ve all heard of him. He’s all over pop culture: Judas Priest (the band), “the kiss of death” (the expression), and so on. Everyone knows Judas is a name no child ever wants to be given. Even if you’re not a Christian, reading the account in the gospel biographies of the Bible (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) where Jesus was betrayed by Judas will likely bring an indignant reaction. Because even if you yourself can’t acknowledge that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God, the Savior who was given to this world to take all mankind’s sins away, you can’t help but be disgusted with the treachery of one greedy man selling out another very good man.

Judas was a lot of things. From the Biblical account there are lots of spins to put on him. He objected to Mary Magdalene bestowing her precious perfume onto Jesus’ feet when he dined in her presence, selling his objection to the anointing as a plea for conservancy of goods for charitable profit – when in reality he just wanted to embezzle any such profits through his role as treasurer of Jesus’ band of disciples. He was greedy. He was kind of sleezy. He seemed often backhanded. We just don’t get the idea that he belonged and fit the mold of Jesus’ 12 main confidants and mentees. By the time you read of the plot Judas agreed to with the conniving religious leaders who wanted to get Jesus, you find yourself hoping an anvil will fall from the sky and smush Judas in the next chapter instead. And ultimately, after his abominable act of betrayal and ensuing onset of guilt during Jesus’ trial, when he returns his payment and then runs off and hangs himself, you almost feel a bit of relief…maybe a sense of comeuppance.

Maybe you don’t have that reaction with his story. Maybe you haven’t lived around this story your whole life, hearing about it from very young on, in Sunday School, and then studying it at more length through Christian circles, or hearing of it in cookie-cutter Lenten sermons that bemoan Judas’ despicable deeds and black heart. But I do. That’s the take I’ve always had on him.

And it’s so wrong of me.

Judas sold out Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. He allowed his Lord and savior to be hauled in for a blood-thirsty night of injustice, mockery, sucker-punches…and a next-day kangaroo court verdict, vicious flogging, and crucifixion. He allowed it because he couldn’t let the chance to make a few months’ wages worth pass him by.

Did you realize that I do it for far less payment than that, and I do it probably every day? It’s true….to my shame, it’s so true.

When I take that Sunday morning in bed because I’m so fatigued from a longer-than-usual work week in exchange for going to my church to worship and be around my fellow believers, I betray Him.

When I turn the other way and stay silent at work while a handful of coworkers converse mockingly about a Christian value, I betray Him.

When I entertain those thoughts about a female I see in public who’s dressed to kill, knowing that I have a wife who should be all my eyes can see and Jesus gave her specifically to me, I betray Him.

And when I hurt so badly over a heart-breaking event in my life, and I choose to run the other way for comfort, into the arms of rental movies, games, alcohol, or a shopping binge…..guess what – I betray Him.

Jesus was everything for Judas. Jesus is everything for me. His lack of physical, visible presence in my life in the 21^st century does not get me off the hook for treating him like Judas did the real-life Savior, in the flesh, over two thousand years ago in that dark Palestinian garden.

Each of us has done this to Jesus. We know him, we say we love him…and maybe we even do. But is it only on a level that’s convenient to us? Is it only in doses that can be washed down when we’d rather chew on some personal vindication or instant gratification instead? When those critical moments come, when the armed guard is marching in and reality holds a blazing torch that casts ominous shadows on the menacing faces of choices we know we ought to make, to fight for Him rather than slink away…what do we do?

We smile at our Savior….we sidle up alongside him, knowing with every pace we take up to his side that He’s about to endure hell on earth, and then hell on the inside, from his tortured perch on the cross, and we say “Hello, Jesus.” The words leave our lips, and we follow it with a kiss, signaling for our comfort, our self-pity, our greed, our lust, our hunger for power or influence among mere men, or our arrogance to rush in and drag him away to be crucified in ignorance all over again.

We’re no better than Judas, brothers and sisters. I’m no better. You’re no better. It’s just that our price is different. It may not shine like silver. It may be subtler. It may have a different exchange rate because we live in a different world. But we too sell out our Savior every day and become Judases of our own.

There is one powerful difference, however. Although our hindsight of this infamous story serves to so often convince us that it’s so obvious that Judas was so terribly wrong for his treachery, it also provides the insight to know that his demise didn’t need to play out as it did. We have the privilege of knowing what Judas should have – that it’s NEVER TOO LATE to run back to Jesus and ask for pardon and mercy. We may betray him each day so badly that we send him all the way back to the courtyard, or even to the top of that hill where the nails are about to be pounded in…but in the last moment we can end it differently by repenting.

And when the treachery has come and gone and we kneel at the feet of the Lord, our dusty and shamed faces traced with tear streaks, we have the chance that Judas robbed himself of – to let Jesus reach down, even with his hands bound and barely able to speak from his bruised mouth, and tilt up our heads to see and hear him say, “I forgive you. This is why I bore all of this weight, my son…my daughter… This is why once, long ago, for all, I staggered and stumbled all the way to Calvary, and stretched myself across the beams, and accepted the searing pain of those nails in my flesh, and let my breaths run shallow and my life gasp out….This is why I stayed on that cross. I did it for you. I did it because God, my Father, never will betray you.”

May those thirty pieces of blood money silver stay in the pockets of the evil, and not venture into my wallet. Yet, when they do, because I have evil within me as well, may I look back up into the eyes of that determined Savior, and know in peace that’s so deep that his forgiveness is for me too…

For me…just another Judas. A forgiven and saved Judas.

The Pressing Issues

(Originally published 3/24/14)

Philippians 3:12 -
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

This passage found its way into my inbox recently, and the Spirit directed my attention that particular day to the "I press on" part. Perhaps it's because God wants my attention to call me out on spiritual wimpy-ness lately, or maybe it was just so I could share a little "Hoo-rah!" for my brothers and sisters in arms who fight the good fight against this present darkness in our world. But whatever the reason, this passage hit me in a new place that day. 

"I press on..."

Note that the Apostle Paul doesn't choose wimpy words for this sentence. He doesn't say what so many times we find ourselves saying day to day. You know what I'm talking about...

"Oh, I'm doin' alright..."

"Yeah, I'm gettin' by..."

"I'm hangin' in there..."

Or one of my favorites: "I'm still kickin'..." (which, if you feel like I usually do when I'm saying that one, has more of the meaning of "I'm twitching like something that just got hit by a shotgun blast")

Paul sets the example for us in the life of a Christ-follower. We all have our race to run. To run, not to saunter or shuffle. We all have a battle to fight, not to survive by lying down in the fetal position or by playing possum. 

PRESS ON! That's what Paul says. He doesn't say, "I meander or stumble aimlessly on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." This verb is a powerful lesson in something I've heard called adversity quotient. This characteristic is that ever-evasive, highly admirable quality of the champion...the warrior. He or she who is not outdone, not done in, not run aground on the coral reef when the ship should be forging on out to the high seas, blasting through the foamy waves. 

Adversity quotient can really only come from the Lord, though. We all know deep down that, even though it's so frustrating to watch the tank of our energies, passions, and emotional strength run dry every day, we can still remain confident that somehow or other it'll be filled again shortly. Do we take for granted how that happens? Does it actually happen? The Bible reminds us that "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:31).

How awesome it is to know that the simple exercise, in the life of a Christian, of plugging back into our power source in the Lord, will recharge us to keep pressing on.

How am I doing at this? This whole blog of mine is about reflecting. It's about reflecting on how much Jesus is reflected in the silversmithery that is my life, in the fire of life. So how is my adversity quotient?

I hope yours is greater than mine. Truth be told, I don't always stand tall. I don't always remember in faith that God has continued to hold out his hands to keep me standing when my own short-lived strength runs out again. I get discouraged when I shouldn't. I get depressed when I should remember that my future has hope, because I hope in the God of heaven!

But thanks to Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross, my sins of weakness and laziness in faith are swept out to the depths along with all the rest. And no matter how weak I can be, He recharges me once more, every time I need it, to rise up off my dusty and scraped knees...brush my shirt off, smear the bloodstain away from where my chin took the beating, and...

PRESS ON!!

Let Me Be Yours

(Originally published 2/15/14)

She sat across the break room table from me, telling me all about it. I've learned better the past few years how to be a gracious listener, so it's not like she was dominating conversation. But this coworker of mine was sure giving me a good case for why it was perfectly reasonable for her to hold to her position. At least she wanted me to think she was sure of herself... Ending every other statement or explanation with "You know what I mean?" can sometimes be a tactful conversational tool that lends to reciprocity in dialogue. This time I think it betrayed a lack of complete confidence in the ideology being posited.

Her position?

Marriage was something she tried once, and she's happily decided that, as with her current, long-time boyfriend of several years, it's just not a road she needs to go down again. I asked, as carefully as I could, if it could be that she wants to avoid marriage to avoid the injustices and pitfalls that occurred in the last marriage, or if it was something else. She stopped...looked upward as the gears turned, looked back down at me squinting, said, "You know, I don't think I ever really thought that part through..." but quickly resumed her confident position by stating a conclusion she'd landed on in those few seconds, and stated something to the effect of wanting to just be sure she'd be treated right this time, knowing she's just a different person than during that "married phase," and liking the mixture of both worlds of roommate/friend and committed romantic interest.

It didn't matter how confident she was or how well she articulated that thought. The truth was confirmed. She, like me, like you, and like all of us, wants to have her cake and eat it too, when it comes to relationships. Her current position on the institution of marriage is a self-serving, self-centered one. It's pretty normal nowadays...unfortunately.

Valentine's Day 2014 has come and gone. That holiday that briefly breaks up the monotony of the home stretch of wintertime, and that draws so many polarizing reactions from the various demographics of society - some ire and bitterness, some joy and twitterpation (I just made that up, but I'll give the wise, friendly owl on "Bambi" the credit) - well, it just serves to prove my point:

We seek love to seek fulfillment for ourselves. 

Don't believe me? Consider the most popular, two-word expression on those little heart candies that have been commonly given with Valentines: BE MINE. "Mine," the word so often screamed by small children as they fight over things they want to rip from the hands of someone else already possessing it, to have it for themselves.

Ok, so I'm being a little facetious. I know that it's a little too harsh to claim that Valentine's Day's message is purely or predominantly to go out and make that one day of the year the most selfish you can. I know that no commercials say "This Valentine's Day, manipulate that special someone into getting you just what you deserve, because you're the only one in your universe." And yes, I know there are other more seemingly selfless or transitive expressions on those candy hearts besides "Be Mine."

But I am pointing out that, more incidentally than anything else, this ever-popular "Be Mine" expression at Valentine's Day is quite the profound manifestation of how we as present day Americans view our relationships, especially marriage.

My church's current sermon series is called "Happily Ever After," and Pastor Jason has been laying down an extremely thought-provoking, deeply philosophical, and beautifully theological message about how it is that we can get to happiness and fulfillment in our relationships. In the first part of our series he began with very telling statistics that represent that extreme shift our country has gone through over the last half century, regarding views on sexuality, marriage, and how to be happy in marriage and make it last. When comparing what studies show on our beliefs about marriage vs. the actual reality that occurs in our relationships, the painful conclusion is that there's an enormous gap between what we'd like to believe about our chances at that happy movie-like ending, and what actually tends to be the case in our real lives.

We all wonder how it can be that we get it so wrong, despite wanting so badly to find love, work to keep it, and have relationships and marriages. Pastor Jason points out that there's been a great sabotage in our lives, by our own hands, when we fail to realize that we don't look at marriage the way God recommends.

It used to be, many years ago, that prevailing philosophy on marriage's purpose was to offer oneself as a sacrifice for the greater good. There was almost a utilitarian view, that if a civil and proper marriage arrangement could be attained, those in the state of matrimony were doing their civic duty and creating yet another foundational stone for the undergirding of our land. Now, popular thought is that the purpose of marriage is to find someone that "completes me," that makes me happy, and that fulfills what I'm aiming for in life. Do you hear the message in that? Me, me, me...

When this was pointed out in this way during that first message of the series, I found myself feeling humbled and a bit taken aback. I asked myself, with deep introspection, How much was it a factor in choosing to marry my wife that I knew she would make me happy, and she'd bring me fulfillment? 

It can be easy to say, "Well what's so wrong with that? Don't we deserve to be made happy? Isn't a marriage founded on fulfillment a good thing?" I know where that thought comes from, and I'll tell you that if you're thinking that, you're missing the point.

Here is the point: We do marriage a massive disservice when we put all the pressure of expectation onto that other spouse-to-be if it all hinges on their ability to just fill that ol' love tank all the way to the top. By God's grace, we may find someone who does that some of the time. But the truth is, no one is perfect. The mistake comes when we fall for the lie that marriage is about finding that proverbial "soul mate," and then hoping they don't want to ever change you, and you don't ever want to change them. Honestly, many of us have experienced that no matter how perfect they seem for you up front, whether it's the day after the honeymoon ends, or a year later, or 10 years later, they WILL disappoint you in all of that. You WILL disappoint him/her in all of that.

How can we get it right? Well, the Apostle Paul says in Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her." Pastor Jason unpacked this verse beautifully, pointing out that what we do as spouses (or significant others) is to basically imitate what Christ did as he served the Church (in other words, the whole group of believers, those he saved) with his perfect life, innocent death on the cross, and resurrection back to life. He sacrificed himself, and in so doing, not only paid the price for our salvation and our tickets to heaven, but also provided a striking model for what he originally designed in marriage.

So, we don't do anybody any favors when we look at the pursuit of love in relationships as something that's a mission to get something for ourselves. Instead of thinking "Be mine" when that object of your affection comes to mind, maybe try thinking "Let me be yours!" In other words, "Let me be the one to emulate Christ to you. Let me have the station in your life of being the only one to sacrifice fully, give you what you need, and be unconditional in my dedication to you." An interesting proposition has been put out there for Christians: Do for your spouse what Christ has done for you. Nevermind that they won't listen to you. Nevermind that they may not reciprocate evenly. Nevermind that they don't always - or may rarely - deserve it, as you see it.

DO FOR YOUR SPOUSE WHAT CHRIST HAS DONE FOR YOU.

And what has he done? He's given all. He's given freely, so that you may have fully. He lay his bleeding, sweat-soaked body down onto the gnarled wooden plank of his cross, stretched his quivering, aching body out across the beams, held himself still while he knew he could just call out and guardian angels would descend to his rescue by the thousands....and he let those stakes be driven through his body. He let his blood pour and the pain course through his limbs, and he let the onlookers gawk and cuss him out and mock his slow death. Finally, he stayed put, under the mountainous burden of your sin and mine, while his Father in heaven turned his back on him, and all he could do as he suffered the payment of God's just wrath, was cry out "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me??"

God forsook Jesus, so he wouldn't have to eternally forsake you. And we can take that grace and shower it onto our spouses. We can ask that they let us be theirs, and that we get to be the ones to mutually fulfill the other by sacrificing for them, as they do the same in Christ. We are all self-centered, there's no way around that. The only way to conquer that is to seek Christ-centeredness.

-----------------

I don't know for sure about where my coworker's faith lies. But I do know that all of us encounter someone every day who, because they don't know Jesus, can't know how to truly love. You couldn't, and I couldn't, without the example of Christ and empowerment from God's Holy Spirit. All around us there are people slaughtering their relationships with a tendency towards selfishness that always lurks below the surface because of sinful human nature. We know this is our battle and we still labor mightily in it. Imagine how much harder it is for others to win when they don't even realize. When they don't even have the lens we do - this worldview that starts with knowing Christ and being motivated to love by "reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21) - they are robbed of their ability to start from the right place in loving others and navigating their relationships successfully. 

We Christians must overcome this for them. Rather, we must be the inspiration for them to overcome this themselves. 

Let every person we see around us see in us, and our relationships and marriages, a sacrifice of love to each other that's so pure and powerful that they can't help but want to have it for themselves. God designed marriage to be a beautiful, artful expression of himself, and a reflection of the Gospel. When we love each other as Christ did, we preach that saving message through the testimony of our relationships. At the very least, we give a starting point that helps us develop caring relationships with others, where questions can be asked, answers can be given, truths can be shared, and the Gospel in its entirety may one day hopefully bring that person him/herself to Christ's waiting, open arms. Then, his love will change their eternity and bless everything about their lives until eternity arrives. 

It can all start when we remember our Lord and his kind of love, when we look outward instead of inward, and we say, 

"Let me be YOURS!"

Identity Theft -- Who Are You?

(Originally published 1/28/14)

I know that what I’m lamenting in my soul tonight is something that has been one of Satan’s greatest campaigns for longer than just my lifetime, but I think the ever-increasing prevalence of the media has made it all the more noticeable these days. American society’s continual trend into post-modernism doesn’t help matters, either.

In an age when one of the greatest mantras has been to express yourself, be individual and unique, and manifest your identity in any of a myriad of ways, could it be that we as a people are losing the right sense of identity?

This sin-darkened world, in the 21^st century as much as ever before, is stealing our current generation’s identity. This identity is something that is assigned at conception, recognized at birth by all mankind who welcome you into the world, and, for a certain few, given further value within the numbers of believers in the one true God.

Who are you, really?

You are a creature that has been fearfully and wonderfully made by God in heaven.

If you’ve been brought by faith into the family of believers, those who place their trust in Christ Jesus for salvation, then guess what – you’re a CHILD of GOD!

Simple enough, right?

Oh no, I must sadly conclude, after yet another day of exposure to the gamut of cable TV programming that ranges from vain and pointless to vile and pathetic, that one’s identity is completely up for grabs….as far as the world is concerned.

For the past couple years my wife and I have chosen to “abstain” from TV. In the economic times we’re in, with the means my family has, it’s the responsible choice for proper management of our budget. But that aside, we also chose to leave it behind because we felt it doesn’t stand to bring enough meaningful value to our lives. While there’s no harm in watching a sports event every once in a while (something I still LOVE to do, as I’m still a diehard sports fan), and there are a couple shows that have redeeming value for a family, like A&E’s “Duck Dynasty,” the vast majority of programming, especially on premium cable networks, is largely a venom to the lifeblood of proper values that our country’s citizens used to uphold more closely. Still, in certain venues, like my current temporary workplace (a Charter Communications retail facility with 2 large flat screens behind the service counter, on all day), exposure to the toxic elements of secular TV is inevitable. 

Today, for example, there were two shows that happened to be on (I don’t remember the channel) that bear perfect testimony to what I’m describing: “What Not to Wear,” and “Bridesmaids.” Firstly, though, before appearing to too strongly condemn either the shows themselves, or anyone who watches them, let me give a couple disclaimers:

1)     Virtually no TV shows on any network anywhere reflect the values that I, as a Christian, want to live by. That’s true also for shows that I have watched myself, and enjoyed in part, or quite a bit, like “Castle,” “24,” “The Mentalist,” “Scrubs,” “The Office,” “Seinfeld,” or “Frasier.” All of these shows have elements that leave room for scrutiny. So I’m not completely condemning any one show in its entirety. Mostly what I’m calling to light is a primary message given by a show, or values expressed within the show as being “the norm” for our society now, and, therefore, acceptable.

2)     One of the things I’ll make reference to is what some now may loosely term “gender confusion” or “alternative lifestyles.” I just want to make it known up front that, in regards to the topic of gender assignment as it pertains to human genetics, I understand that there are some rare extenuating circumstances that predispose children to being born with gender ambiguity. I’m not taking issue with those very rare cases, whose birth defects are also a result of sin in the world and not part of how God drew things up in the first place. That’s a sensitive, complex tangent of this topic that I have only researched on the very surface level. Any reference to gender-related malfeasances is to those who, by my estimations, in light of God’s Word, ought to “know better.”

Let me briefly highlight how shows like the ones I listed above (again, “What Not to Wear,” and “Bridesmaids”) bring home messages, at least in episodes like I was subject to today, that are counterproductive to a godly understanding of identity.

First of all, in the episode of “What Not to Wear” that I saw, the subject, Kathy, was more or less humiliated for how she dressed. Her children helped to put on a full skit at a public event, in whose audience mother Kathy was unwittingly present, where her life as a dubious violator of public code of dress was portrayed. The co-hosts of “What Not to Wear” suddenly appeared on stage, had the embarrassed woman brought on stage too, and told her they’d help her turn it all around. Throughout the rest of the episode, amidst sarcastic responses, aghast reactions to reasoning, and pretty snobbish overall behavior, these co-stars led Kathy to what appeared to be quite the heart-warming transformation of both wardrobe AND attitude by the end, so a pretty little bow could be put on it all for the viewers.

Was Kathy’s quality of life ruined by this transformation through the efforts of the stars of the show? No. She seemed genuinely pleased and grateful for the effects by the time it was all done. But what lesson did she learn? Worse, what lesson is this teaching viewers across all socio-economic groups? That Kathy is a better wife, mother, and modern woman when she takes the time each day to primp and do the makeup, get the nails and hair done just so, and keep up with the latest clothing fashions. That Kathy should be validated for feeling like more of a woman when this is her comportment, rather than whatever it was before.

Do I think that, to live true Christian values, Kathy should dress in rags and frump it up? Do I think she’s wrong for feeling more attractive – on the outside – for the efforts of the show’s stars? No. Any woman deserves to feel beautiful. But the message about the bottom line that was delivered again and again throughout the show, was that it was unacceptable for her to be dressed as she was originally, regardless of who she was on the inside.

To me, what made it most obvious that the message was that her outer beauty somehow precedes or feeds her inner beauty lay within some of the notable quotes in the episode.

When Kathy was asked how she’d managed to stay so homely looking all these years (she was 41), her response was that she’d always just felt that her inner beauty was more important, and that’s what she’d taught her kids. This was essentially scoffed at in the show.

When Kathy’s friend, seeing the new and improved Kathy at the end, said “[Paraphrasing] This new look will really take her to the next level, professionally, I think, and personally…” it was given prominent, affirmative placement in the narrative of the episode’s conclusion. As if her strength of moral character, integrity in performing the duties of a doctor, and respect for associates would have no match for a stunning new, sexy look.

Moving, on I also want to describe what I found when catching bits and pieces (as little as I could, but it was a slow day at work) of today’s episode of “Bridesmaids.” Without going into detail – which I couldn’t accurately give anyway – on the premise of the show, beyond what’s inferred by the title, one of the groups of bridesmaids depicted during the episode has as one of its members someone named Baybay, a “bridesman.” Baybay was what appeared to be a transsexual, or at the least, a transvestite who had the voice of a man and, according to a coworker who must’ve caught a piece of the narrative I wasn’t enough on the edge of my seat for, felt more like a man than a woman – thus the term “bridesman.” Couple that spectacle with the image and behavior of the most obviously flamboyantly gay consultant on the show, Brandon, and it was all a man like me, raised from birth in conservative Lutheran ideologies, could do not to roll his eyes so much in front of my associates as to appear self-pious.

What’s going on with all of this?

What are the messages flowing out from current society? How do they stack up with what Christians, who are sinners just as much as anyone else, know is true in God’s Word?

The society of today is completely lost in all areas regarding identity.

Some questions provoked by all of this…

-         Where does my worth come from?

o       Society’s answer: Your wardrobe, your sense of fashion, and your sex appeal.

-         Who am I (re: gender)?

o       Society’s answer: Just because you were born anatomically outfitted with female/male parts doesn’t mean you’re to live as that. You’re whatever you feel you are. If you’ve become a teen or adult and whatever gender you were born and raised hasn’t worked out for you, just decide that you’ll be the opposite. Or heck, maybe you’re both.

-         Who should I be attracted to?

o       Society’s answer: Whomever you want. Whoever pleases you and makes you feel loved (in whatever definition you have for that).

However…

-         Where does my worth come from?

o       God says: You are my child, you are more valuable than any riches on Earth. You are worth so much to me that I sent my son, Jesus, to lay down his life by crucifixion, and rise again to beat death itself, so you could have eternal life with me!

§         “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13-14)

-         Who am I?

o       God says: I am perfect. I am holy. I make no mistakes. If I created you with all the love and artistry that brought me to fashion you in all the intricacies of your anatomy, biology, physiology, and personality, AND gender – then that’s what I meant for you to be! And you have a distinct and beautiful purpose in THAT form!

-         Who should I be attracted to?

o       God says: Consider the symmetry and beauty in the pattern of creation. “Male and female, he created them…” (Genesis 1:27b) Remember how I established the very first union in mankind – a template – in Adam and Eve, and brought them together to model a romantic and family unit. Remember what I’ve said about abandoning my natural order of things!

§         “Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders…will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9b-10)

The truth is very simple in all this, really… We, mankind, are very easily confused. Throughout time Satan has introduced all sorts of philosophies and ideas into our minds to lead us astray from the truths of God that bring life and real enlightenment into our lives. The life of someone who feverishly chases after his or her source of identity in anything resembling self or found in self will be a tiresome and empty one. God wants to give life and give it more abundantly. He wants us to have a healthy and appropriate presentation of ourselves to our world, and understand that we each are unique. But we’re unique in how he’s blessed us! We’re unique in that we’re each a brilliantly carved or fashioned tool that can and will be used for good in this world, and ultimately for His glory, when we let him.

Brothers and sisters who share these godly ideals, let’s pray hard for the opportunities to live these truths in front of all the rest of the world. Let’s communicate them passionately to our children, to our friends, to our coworkers, and share with them the beautiful truth that no matter how well or poorly dressed, no matter what they think of the body they were given, no matter how they feel they may best find love…their deepest worth is already there from the Lord!

May we all continue to strive to look no further for our beauty or value than Christ!

            Rolex: $20,000.00

            Manicure: $35.00

            Gucci purse: $990.00

            Hair styling: $47.00

            Allen-Edmonds McAllister men’s shoes: $345.00

            Vera Wang dress: $300

           

Your robe of righteousness bought at Calvary’s cross with Jesus’ blood: PRICELESS.

The Precarious, Yet Necessary, Balancing Act of Social Media

A few years ago I made the decision to leave Facebook. This was a decision motivated mostly by the conclusion that unneeded drama is almost inevitable when sharing your life experiences on a social media site like that. It came after a point when there had been such conflict occurring in a couple major instances that I could no longer stand to let it be an avenue I would allow myself to go down, when conflict in "real life" seems hard enough to avoid the way it is. 

Now, truth be told, less than a year ago I made my way back into the world of Facebook. Before that, I'd been only found on LinkedIn as far as social media goes. The reasons that brought me back were equal parts sentimental and practical. I've enjoyed networking with new people and getting back in touch with many people of whom, without something like Facebook, unfortunately, I would surely have lost track. Primarily, though, Facebook: Round 2 has been all about me finding a way to be a positive voice in my world. 

During my hiatus from Facebook, I enjoyed knowing that if a person was going to have a problem with me, it was almost 100% inevitable that it was going to be from a face-to-face, real interaction, not a cyber-misunderstanding. There have still been a couple conflicts of that latter variety, because of an email or a text, but I've worked hard to eradicate those by either more careful use of email and text, or by trying to improve my people skills overall. 

But although my quest in my second life in Facebook has been one of intended harmony and positive influence, there have still been a couple of ruffled feathers. Now, frankly, part of me wants us all to agree that it's quite silly to be surprised by that. If you're going to use Facebook in the fullest, or even most of its, capacity (i.e. posting statuses of your own life or thoughts, commenting on others' posts of the same, sharing pictures, sending "PMs," or Personal Messages, etc)....well, then, feathers shall be ruffled once or twice because we are, after all, human. To err is human, right? And how does the rest of that go? "....But to forgive is divine." 

Then why in tarnation are we all so bad at being forgiving and gracious with each other on Facebook?

See, on the one hand, a large part of me loathes social media for its tendency to draw out the worst in human nature. We can be so fake on there, sometimes. We can be so nasty, and arrogant, and insensitive, and crude too. We somehow get it in our heads that things we'd never say to others face-to-face are just fine to say from the protection of an online social media account. We accept this part of the mini-culture of something like Facebook (and this all applies to Twitter and most of the others too, I'm just not on any of them, so this is the extent of my experience) as something that's socially acceptable, yet we'll post on Facebook itself at the same time about what nerve someone had to talk to us or act a certain way that we find ourselves treating each other all the time from behind our computer screens or cell phones. As a result of this, people are getting more socially disconnected in our modern world, even though seemingly more connected. 

But on the other hand, social media is what it is. And it's here to stay...at least for awhile. I'd like to believe that a day might come when we'll go through another renaissance of sorts and come full circle back to the ways things used to be when our communities were entirely flesh and blood, and the conversations were on porches, in town halls, pubs, and ball parks alone; when government was practiced by everyone in some level or another and everybody in a township or city knew what it was to gather and share in a real way. But that day is a long ways off, and even if we rebuild that element back into our social fabric, social media may be inextricably established because of technology and mankind's ability to continually believe the lie that lesser alternatives are OK when life gets us too busy for the real thing. After all, that's why we're on Facebook with our friends all night long all the time from miles away, but never see one another that often, isn't it??

So what are we to do with this paradox? And what are those of us to do, who value becoming leaders in our own lives, with the need for social media as an outlet for positivity? 

"Need???" you say? Well, alright, I admit that "need" is a strong word perhaps. But given that the times are what they are, and almost everyone from adolescence to the grave is online somewhere, if one is of the disposition to fight back in his own unique, little way against the cacophony of negative voices and information that bleeds its way into everything in life, don't we NEED to use every channel we can to push back with what's good?

That's my new philosophy nowadays, anyway. And so, that is [mostly] why I'm found on Facebook once again...for now. 

But this concession to be found on social media creates a leadership quandary. A conundrum. A Catch 22. A balancing act, to be sure.

It means that I have to somehow seek to be a regular presence in this social media world, adding my own personal value to it in the regular ways that others will agree with and be attracted to (hopefully), yet somehow keep myself away from the fray of drama and petty online behavior. If I'm a real leader-in-progress, a man hoping to become a beacon of influence and a proper model of how to build relationships and create an upright and enjoyable culture around myself, I cannot slip into the muck of what so many others seem content to spread in social media: hatred, slander, gossip, complaining and pity parties, and devaluation of timeless principles. Simply put, I need to have a mission to keep above all the drama, and certainly never to cause it. 

But alas, I still fail. Once in awhile, I forget who I'm really trying to be, and I take the risk of something like posting a comment to someone else's post that, in my mind, is harmless and makes a good point - a good, evangelical, I-stand-for-something kind of point. Maybe the timing was just wrong, maybe the word choice or lack of enough explanation was to blame. Maybe it was the perfect comment placed into the Facebook world of the wrong person. Maybe it was 6 and a half other possible reasons. But it led to someone being upset with me, telling me she was going to delete my comment (which a couple others had already liked, actually), and sharing her anger and disgust over how I was manifesting an attitude that belies a very large group of people with whom she apparently has come to take issue over the recent past. 

Now, wanting to be a leader, I chose to say no to the temptation inside to fight back and show umbrage, to defend my point, and tell her off for so unfairly lumping me into a group of people with whom I actually tend to take issue myself, in fact. After all, who was she to classify me like that, and act as if she knew exactly who I am today, when in reality we never interact that much on Facebook (interact far less in person, because we lives states apart) and she only truly knew me well back in high school and shortly after?

I kept all those offended and indignant thoughts to myself, pulled the weed of negativity, and realized that, even if there was only the tiniest shred of validity to her reason to be upset at me, I ought to make it right. "A leader always accepts the blame, so he or she can have the most participation in bringing about the solution," is what I've heard so many times in the past few years. So I apologized, acknowledged how she might feel that way from her perspective, and offered the possibility that I could've chosen different words. 

In the end, I don't know how much damage that was done - or was perceived to have been done - was actually fixed. But the point I'm making here is this:

If I've chosen to walk this precarious path in social media, where someone can get greatly upset with me over something I think would truly be handled better in person, then I need to be ready to absorb the blows that come with the territory. I can choose to handle them as lovingly and selflessly as I've been learning to handle real, face-to-face conflicts, rather than bemoan their presence in my life. They are, after all, conflicts I've allowed to become a possibility. 

It's either that, or I leave that part of my world behind again, and lose out on the opportunities to share my voice in all the encouraging, positive, leadership-oriented, and God-glorifying ways that I hope to have by staying in the fray. 

In the end, a life lived in the pursuit of excellence is not an aloof one. True leaders want to be an in-the-mix part of the world of which they're an inhabitant, and they embrace the challenges, and precarious, yet necessary, balancing acts that come their way in life. In order to fulfill a purpose of being a light in a dark world, and being a leader among people who will always need one, this is the game that must be played. 

And it's a game that must be played with grace for all - even those who have shown me none. I'm so far from perfect it's a laughable joke, but I just want to make a difference. 

So bring on the tightrope.