Time Really IS Money

I would like to respectfully disagree with what I’m sure is countless thousands of people, if not millions, who have ever said, “Time is money!” Sometimes this expression is used by people whose lives really are lived by the standards of a demanding time-for-money trade (which, suggested by statistics by economists like Robert Kiyosaki, makes up about 95% of all people in America). In these cases you’ll hear it used by, say, a businessman who is keenly aware of a deadline, telling a subordinate, “C’mon Johnson, I need that proposal on my desk yesterday! They’re being submitted to Smith on the 12^th and we’re still behind! Time is money!”

For anyone who earns a living in what are called the “E (Employee)” and “S (Self-employed)” areas of the “Cash Flow Quadrant (again, something coined by Robert Kiyosaki)” there is a real element of truth to that expression. Such types, including me at this point in my life, and millions of others, do live out a veritable trade of their time for their money as they give away 8, 10, 12 or more hours per workday in exchange for the pay from their employers. Self-employed people tend to do this more on a task/project-for-payment basis, not so much hourly, but the principle is the same.

“Time is money” quoters, whether they really mean it or are just saying it loosely because they’ve heard it before, are really reflecting a powerful reality of life for many who will remain subject to it: you can’t have all the time and money you want. Those with true wealth will tell you that you don’t have it (i.e. wealth) unless you have both of its components: money AND time. But this is more of a topic for another time.

Let me clarify what I meant in my first statement.

I don’t disagree with the reality that, for some, time is money. I disagree that it ought to be that way. When it comes to the economic state of your life, there are other means to wealth that aren’t obtained in the traditional “income” parameters that most live by. Entrepreneurs, a dying breed these days, due to the shrinking presence of free thinkers in our society, and in part because of the oppressive impact of a regulation-happy government, will tell you that a system using duplication and leverage of combined efforts is a better, more efficient path to money and lifestyle.

But enough of that. That’s all still a topic for another time.

My real contention with the expression in question today is because the sentence is written wrong. Orrin Woodward, in his best-seller Resolved: 13 Resolutions for LIFE, speaks of the importance of time-management. His comments in chapter 1 of his book, discussing the idea of purpose in life, led me to the realization that the expression should really go like this:

“Treat time like it’s money.”

Woodward says,

“In order to live a life of purpose, a person must learn to focus his time on purpose. Time is the stuff that life is made of, making time-management a crucial skill. But developing effective time-management without directing it towards one’s purpose is to efficiently manage the wasting of one’s life.”

At first, that last sentence sounds awfully strong. But consider a quote from later in the same passage, where Woodward references Hyrum Smith in The Ten Natural Laws:

“Time is just like money. When you decide to spend one hour watching TV, you have also decided not to spend the time on what? Everything else (emphasis added). You would be very upset if someone gained access to your bank account and sole all your money. Most people, though, don’t blink an eye when all sorts of culprits sneak into their lives and steal their time.”

So in other words, not practicing good time-management is like having no security system and no vault for the bank of your life’s time. In fact, when you think of how often we’re seeking out or falling passively for the lure of “time thieves,” we may as well add a doorman to that picture too, who’s standing outside waving every shady character inside the door to the bank. I don’t know about you, but I know I have definitely wasted a lot of time in my life. This portion of Woodward’s book really was a gut-punch.

The idea here is also not only that time-management itself is critical; that simply results in productivity. I agree with Orrin Woodward, that purposeful productivity is what’s desirable – in other words, accomplishments that point you toward your personal purpose, or, put another way, the thing God made you to do. After all, like Henry David Thoreau said, “It is not enough to be busy. So too are the ants.”

Ever feel like you’ve spent an entire day, or worse, an entire week, running around like crazy, doing this, doing that, and by Friday or Saturday (whichever is more your personal wind-down time) you find yourself thinking What the heck did I even do this week? What did I accomplish? I’m wiped out and I don’t feel satisfied!

Whenever you feel this way, it’s your soul telling you that you may have wasted some or much of your time. Maybe there were a lot of urgent things to do, or things you had seemingly no choice but to do. But were they all important? Were they all necessary for taking another step towards fulfilling your distinct purpose?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had to admit to yourself that days and weeks go by when the answers to those questions didn’t sit too well. We know deep down that we’re here on Earth for something bigger. That’s unique to you, the individual. We’re not all here for the exact same purpose. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Maybe we should examine our lives, and ourselves, more often. Are we checking our current reality against what that subtle voice always lingering within is telling us about what we feel called to do with our time here?

“But Jeff,” you tell me, “There are so many things on my plate. They all have to go somewhere!” To that I respond, yes and no. No, not everything has to go on your plate. Use a filter on everything that presents itself for time expenditure: Will ______________ get me closer to my purpose / help me live my purpose today? If so, excellent! Keep it in your list to be prioritized towards your purpose. If not….I’m afraid you have to chuck it! If you don’t, you will waste your time.

Think of it objectively. Remember: “Treat time like it’s money!” Let’s pretend for a moment that the currency value of our dollar was much higher than it is. Then we’ll pretend that every hour of a day is like a dollar. So there’s 24 of them to be spent as wisely as possible each time we cross 12:00 a.m. If you had to shell out a dollar for every hour doing the things you do on a consistent basis, knowing you only had 24 to work with til you’re broke, would you be ok with that? I imagine many of us would be more frugal with what we would do with those hours. Maybe they’d get spent more often on playing with the kids, doing something to have quality time with a spouse, reading something of value (the Bible, history, economics, poetry, or whatever keeps you feeling informed in a sensible way, or mentally stimulated), exercising, being out building a business, volunteering time at church or for a charity, working on a hobby like sewing or wood-carving, etc. But no, how do so many hours get spent when we’re not working, sleeping, eating, or doing necessary housework? Facebook, Twitter, reality TV shows, video games, going to the bar….These are the usual time thieves because, while ok or good in small doses, they don’t have a quality about them that generally gets us closer to our true purpose in life.

My proposal is: Treat time like it’s money. You walk around each day with a fistful of time-dollars. When you encounter something, will you hand over the dollar and go about that thing because it’ll leave you satisfied and purpose-bound, or will you shake your head and motion for it to move on til another time?

For additional, far wiser encouragement on how to discern how best to spend those hours each day, I highly recommend a book called First Things First, by the late Steven Covey. In brief, what he outlines is something a lecturer once taught a crowd with: He put a large jar on the table on the stage and put some fist-sized rocks into it until it was full. When asked if the jar was full, the crowd shouted, “Yes!” But he went on to show the crowd how, since he had started with the big rocks first, there was still actually space left to pour in gravel, then sand, and then even water, to ultimately truly fill the jar.

Use this “Big Rocks First” philosophy with your time-management. Approach each tomorrow with thoughts of what’s most important (big rocks), that needs most attention. Proceed in order of importance, and you’ll find room for the rest accordingly. But most importantly, you’ll put your head on your pillow each night knowing the truly important things – maybe even your true purpose itself – were accomplished that day, and you spent your time-dollars wisely.

            “The heights by great men reached and kept

            Were not attained by sudden flight

            But they, while their companions slept,

            Were toiling upward in the night.”

-          Henry Wadsworth Longellow

(quote from Resolved: 13 Resolutions for LIFE, chapter 1)

Re-solving How to Resolve

So it’s a new year - 2014. A blank canvass upon which to paint a new masterpiece. A new chapter to write with fresh ink. An adventure to be lived, with all new twists and turns of excitement to experience.

Ok, you can stop stifling your “I-hate-cheesy-clichés” laugh and eye rolls. I know what you’re thinking. I think it too.

Life is rarely the made-for-TV-movie script we wish it were. We rarely have those stellar years. Every time we make a resolution it ends up as broken as last year’s. According to an article on Forbes.com, in fact, only 8% of people achieve their resolutions.

 http://www.forbes.com/sites/dandiamond/2013/01/01/just-8-of-people-achieve-their-new-years-resolutions-heres-how-they-did-it/

The exact numbers in statistics don’t really matter. After all, everyone knows that precisely 36.8% of all statistics are made up anyway….. (wait for it….THERE ya go!) The point is, so few people actually set official new year’s resolutions, and even fewer keep them.

I’m here today to simply encourage you to do so, and really give it a go this year. Whether they’re to be called resolutions of the “New Year’s” variety, or just resolutions you’ve been wanting to make awhile now and, well, now’s just the best time (“No time like the present!” they say).

After all, we used to be a country of resolution-makers. But not so much anymore. The media world programs a lesser standard of moral and civil interest into anyone who's got a TV or radio. We've become a hyper-paced, technologically over-stimulated, entertainment-mongering society. And we're busier than ever. But doing what? Think of what generally comprises our time nowadays. Aside from work and sleep, the average person has probably less than 6 or 7 hours of a day to pack in all the rest of what they have on their plate. After factoring in caring for children, preparing and eating meals, and all the other even more trivial things that occur daily or multiple times daily, there’s so little time left for what we want to do with our lives that we tend to live out very happenstance existences.

But we should live on purpose. We should have goals. If I don’t set a goal for where I want to be down the road….I’m already there. Depending on which area of my life we’re talking, that can be downright depressing!

Let’s get one other thing out of the way right now, too: I know I’m not an expert on resolutions by any stretch. My wife will attest (if she has to) to the fact that I leave things undone – intentions included. Of course we all do. But I think a new year does provide an appropriate dogear to a page of one chapter of life where it can’t hurt to put a foot down and create a new course for oneself. That’s what I’ve made up my mind to do in 2014.

When I sat down to create my list of resolutions, I initially thought that 1 big one would do nicely. But how to settle on just one thing was really daunting. Of course, creating a massive, never-ending list can certainly seem a mountain too. I wound up deciding on 8 resolutions. I borrowed from a knowledge of 8 categories of life that I’m familiar with, that, to me, comprise all of my existence. Within each of those 8 main categories, I then chose a way to be specific in the phrasing of the resolution. Along with that came a need to use distinct action words, so that there’d be no vagueness about how I’d accomplish it. To be honest with you, while I’d mentally come up with resolutions before, I’ve never written (or typed) it out before. This year I did. Here’s what I came up with:

§         I resolve to walk closer to my Savior and grow in His wisdom through reading the Scriptures.

§         I resolve to become a model family man by becoming a more nurturing father, a more loving husband, and an able captain of my household.

§         I resolve to establish habits that will produce better health and body image, to have more energy, look fitter, and be more productive.

§         I resolve to manage my personal finances more responsibly to enable myself to bless my family and others with whatever wealth God gives.

§         I resolve to become a better advocate for freedom through educating myself on the principles and history of what once made America great, and can again.

§         I resolve to become a true leader in all areas of life, through reading the right books, listening to the right inputs, and associating with other leaders, and then implementing it all into action. I can and MUST make a difference and leave a lasting legacy for the next generation!

§         I resolve to become a better friend, by taking ownership of all my relationships, seeking only win-win situations, and making Christ-like deposits into others’ lives whenever possible.

§         I resolve to gain a healthier view of fun and entertainment: to allow myself leisure for the purpose of introspection, to use play and recreation as a recharging of my battery for chasing my purpose, and to bring more joy to my life and make someone else’s day.

Is that a lengthy, and perhaps overly-thorough, list of resolutions? Maybe. But let me remind you that I had to be very intentional with the list, so that vagueness wouldn’t lead to inaction. Specificity always gives greater enlightenment as to how to move forward.

With the “what” of resolutions decided, and their presence made more real in my life by having written them down (and I’ll probably post several copies around my house to serve as reminders), the biggest concern that remains is: HOW? How do they get accomplished.

First of all, I’m trying to keep the healthy view of it all, that any progress in these areas is going to be a win. Books like The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson (http://slightedge.org/) talk about how simply taking little steps in the right direction have a residual effect that leads to a win. What’s the best (and probably only) way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So even if I only get slightly better in all of these areas this year, that’s still better than sliding backwards in those areas, which The Slight Edge describes WILL happen if you don’t take positive action forward. There is only progress or regression, there’s no staying the same.

Which leads to the next point. How can I know whether I’m getting better or coming closer to achieving a resolution? All great leadership experts teach on how important the scoreboard is when trying to be excellent. If you set up no measuring standard for yourself, you allow your own natural self-deception to guide you into mediocrity (at best) or failure (at worst). So there has to be some quantifiable way of gauging or judging one’s progress. That’s for you to decide. But be honest with yourself. The best goals are things that are just a bit out of reach. George Guzzardo, a leadership expert who mentors with Orrin Woodward (the #6 leadership guru in the world), says “Vision must be believable but border on the unbelievable.” So have vision for where you want to be in a given area, and make it bold, but achievable with a good stretch. You want to know you overcame some things to get it, but also not be downtrodden if you miss it by a mile because it wasn’t truly attainable.

Within goal-setting we find probably the greatest amount of difficulty. I’m not going to get terribly nitty-gritty here because, as I’ve already readily admitted, I’m no resolutions expert. What I’ve learned about aiming for something and then going after it is all material that I’ve found elsewhere. An excellent book that can help you really take hold of this whole idea is called Resolved: 13 Resolutions for LIFE by best-selling author Orrin Woodward. You can even find a personal development program – something kind of like P90X for your mind – called the Mental Fitness Challenge (http://www.mental-fitness-challenge.com/), which has modules based off 3 leadership books, of which Woodward's book is one. Chapters 5 and 6 are extremely helpful on this topic of gameplanning and executing.

Finally, the biggest thing about resolutions is your “Why.” As you sit and think with eyes closed about the “new you” in whatever area your resolution(s) fall(s) (and visualization is a huge key to accomplishing your goal – just ask any pro athlete, Olympian, etc), what is ultimately driving you?

For me, it’s my faith. Rather, it’s the object of my faith. I don’t want my blog to be about pushing my brand of faith on anyone else, but to me there’s an undeniable connection between one’s spiritual foundation and their motivation in life. I personally aim to become a better, healthier, more loving, more highly functional, leadership-heavy individual because I believe I can give glory to my God that way. He has given me a life that is incredible and I’m unworthy of it all. He has prospered me despite my wanderings and blaspheming behavior. He has loved me with good fortunes, the surroundings of loving people, and most importantly by promising a permanent address in heaven after my time’s up here on Earth.

My life, and everything I aim to do and do well, is a thank offering for me. Just like ancient people used to sacrifice things to their deities (the people of Israel did, to the now Judeo-Christian God) on altars, so I lift up my life, my humble efforts, along with my failings, and place it on a pyre and light it up, so the smoke signals and aromas of my performance show “fruit on the tree” that I’m a real believer and not a pretender. That is my ultimate motivation.

Secondary to that – and also tremendously important – is the blessing I hope that achieving these resolutions brings to everyone around me. Many of these resolutions have to do with others directly, and I want to be a better me for them too. Only instead of their benefit or approval being my only motivation, it’s more of a byproduct.

Ultimately, whether you find faith like mine as your starting point for any of this, I most of all want to encourage you to try out the approach I’m trying out this year, to knock resolutions out of the park. It’s been a bane in many people’s existence, but it’s a problem that can be solved. Maybe one to be re-solved.

I wish you the best in becoming your best!

Oh, and….Happy New Year. 

Underappreciated

I was recently listening to a leadership talk on CD by Chris Brady, and one of his passing quotes was "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly." He was quoting Thomas Paine, an 18th century English-American political activist. Although Chris' quoting of Paine was merely an expounding of a sub-point of his overall theme in the talk, I immediately had to jot it down for its profundity.

Looking it up and reading a little further on Thomas Paine, I found that the whole quote originally went like this:

"What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value."

I can really appreciate this quote because, first of all, it applies to so much in life - arguably to everything in life, if you think about it. For example, the 16 year old whose parents buy him/her their first car right after they've obtained their driver's license, can't appreciate that car (whether a Mustang or a "rust bucket") as much as they would if they'd worked hard for a summer, saved up the cash and delayed their gratification, and then purchased the car of their choice - in their price range. Another example is, frankly, me in regards to my wife. What I mean is, as I've often told her, after spending virtually all of my dating years seemingly chasing after gals I desired, and bending over backwards to please them and retain their affections, one day in 2008 she walked into my life and I needed to do nothing to win her over. I have always feared that, for all these years since, I might underappreciate her because I hadn't had to strive to "win" or "obtain" her or her love. The fact that you don't necessarily have to struggle and scratch and claw to obtain a spouse's loyalty - when God's goodness can take care of that - is a topic for another time. But the fact that, generally speaking otherwise, mankind values that which he labored for more deeply, is the topic here.

The ultimate example, or application, I want to draw attention to in light of Thomas Paine's quote, is our freedom as Americans.

Thomas Paine's quote highlights (and probably, when he first said it, purposely foretold) how free Americans of each subsequent generation stand to lose more ground than those before them in the battle to stay fully appreciative of the freedoms our country enjoys. Anyone who's spent considerable time over in a third world or war-torn country doing mission work will confirm this when they come home. Anyone who served in the armed forces or simply lived during the Greatest Generation in the World War II era will bemoan this. Simply put, if you didn't earn it, you can't appreciate it enough. To any who want to shrug off responsibility for that truth in their own life, because of facts they can't change (like "But I wasn't even alive until long past those years!"), well -- we can still try!! We can still study those times. We can still study the founding generation, their efforts, their values, etc. We can still make our freedom a subject of concern and common conversation, as if it still matters greatly now, just as it did then when it was still being earned or "obtained."

21st Century Americans are wusses. Plain and simple. And that includes me. Maybe some of us have had difficult family lives and have been toughened by poverty by our country's standards. Maybe others of us have served in the armed forces recently - or still do - and you would be exempt from this because you have seen what it's like to pay a price for your country's freedom, and if so, I and millions in our country thank you sincerely and wish you could be more highly esteemed. But maybe who I'm mostly directly speaking to as I write this is anyone in my generation, or the one immediately before, or certainly the one(s) immediately following. The founding generations....the American settlers who established the territories and cultures of our country....and most recently the generation that makes up our grandparents and great grandparents, didn't know anything of X-Box, iPads and iPhones, DVD players in the backs of headrests in cars, microwaves, or the prevalence of fast food and delivery pizza and subs. They earned their rights as adults in society. They earned their living through hard work (most of the time much harder than the average American has to work nowadays). They purchased things only when they truly deserved them and had earned them, not when they simply wanted them and a bank had told them they could afford X amount of credit for them. And, speaking of the very freedom of our country itself over 200 years ago, they had the utmost freedom and liberty to live as they wanted only when they had truly earned it - only when enough had stood up and argued for it, or had bled and died and sacrificed for it. Not a moment sooner or a dollar less.

I and the vast majority of my countrymen of our latest generations are a laughing stock by comparison. We haven't had to put anything on the line for the freedoms we enjoy still to this day. The majority of us aren't ever called on  explicitly to serve and protect to keep it that way. And even worse, the majority of us still complain and take it all for granted, while through our arrogance and ignorance to how politics really works we just let freedom continue to be taken out from under our noses.

Maybe we can't, or don't have to, sacrifice our lives in blood to put an end to the losses. But how much better would it all be if we banded together, each in our own way, to learn more about the history of our freedom, and what we can do individually and collectively to preserve it? How much better can it be if, instead of our gazes being fixed downward right on our own sacred little plot of ground and time that we're renting (cuz let's face it, we're renting our time from God Almighty, and for most of us our property or homes are rented from the bank - true ownership doesn't exist these days), we look only backward and forward. Backward in thankfulness and appreciation of what others have done to obtain what we have now, and forward in resolve to preserve it all ourselves in whatever way we can so our children and theirs can still enjoy it. History has proven for every other people who were ever free, that if any generation keeps looking downward at themselves, they hasten the day of their freedom loss.

"But Jeff, you don't understand how busy I am..." Yes I do. I am too. Are we too busy to scrimp on a little TV watching, video-game playing, deer-hunting, or hauling kids back and forth from every imaginable peewee league to dedicate time to educating ourselves and our families on the things that will keep freedom alive? Are we too busy with pleasing ourselves and rewarding ourselves for our own hard work that we can't spare a night here or there to volunteer somewhere or show up at local city council meetings or make our (educated) votes known? "Things ain't what they used to be," many of us cry out. That's right, because "used to be" that every citizen, young and old, made a point to gather regularly and discuss the hard things and challenges of the times, to collectively decide again and again on who to keep things headed in the right direction on the local level, so that we all could, as townships, counties, and states, hold the federal government accountable. Why don't we do that anymore? What would happen if we got it back?

Please understand that I don't write to you as George Washington reincarnate, or even as present-day freedom fighters Oliver DeMille or Stephen Palmer (please see http://www.thesocialleader.com/blog/ for true inspiration on all of this). I write to you as someone whose personal economic freedom isn't such yet that i can contribute as much to the solutions as I want to. I'm also someone whose own lazy excuses still get in my way too often. But I want to be that voice of encouragement that says to everyone, "Let's let our efforts rise above our excuses and get busy KEEPING freedom!!"

We may not have "obtained" all that we have and know in our current level of freedom. But we can absolutely strive to live in appreciation and protection of what we "esteem," and make sure that its "dearness" runs deep in each of our homes!

As another Veteran's Day approaches, thank you, God, for those who have served and fallen in the name of American freedom, and thank you for the opportunity in each of our lives, to bring back what is being lost!

Book Cover Judgments

Have you ever found yourself perplexed over how tricky it can be to accurately size people up from first impressions? I'm not referring to the thought Hey, I have no idea what to make of this person. They're hard to read. No, I mean, how futile it is to trust our initial judgments of the cover of the book that is the new acquaintance.

Have you ever caught yourself having to backtrack from your original impression? Isn't it interesting how we so naturally and fluidly can amend an original favorable impression of a person with a newfound negative label, yet it's so very hard to admit to ourselves when we've mislabeled someone negatively and have to backtrack to relabel them positively?

I've found myself in this position a couple times recently with new coworkers. In two somewhat strikingly opposite cases I know I was wrong about someone from first impressions, and then I had to learn how to view that coworker in an opposite light than what I first thought was the one shining on them. Coworker #1 I was convinced might be a very humble, encouraging, easy-going individual who could be worth reaching out to with an invitation to partner with me in my leadership development group. When the invitation was officially extended, the reaction given and my initial treatment afterward proved me quite wrong on many of those assumptions. I won't say he's a bad person; it's just that I was probably incorrect about some of the good qualities in specific that I thought he had. Then coworker #2 was the stark opposite experience. Again, not to say that I've come to find that he's actually the most humble, agreeable, positive influence and a "10 percenter" extraordinaire. But I was wrong in my initial judgment, and labels of haughtiness, arrogance, and other things were probably too harshly ascribed - certainly he's not those things to the levels of depth that I first thought.

What does this teach us? What has it taught me, yet again? Well, of course, the old adage that we can't "judge a book by its cover" is profoundly true. In fact, it's so true that we may stand to consider that we're very often completely wrong when assuming someone belongs so far into one end of a label spectrum, and people are sometimes the total opposite of what we first think.

But more than that, I think this reinforces an invaluable lesson in leadership: At all times, look for the good in others around you. Sure, there are settings where this is easier than in others, but, as Orrin Woodward describes in his famous recording of a leadership talk, "Lens Effect," we only set ourselves up for failure in making a positive influence on our surroundings (i.e. leadership) if we allow ourselves to label others in a way that's anything but favorable. When I meet or observe someone like Coworker #2, though I find myself initially thinking, "Holy cow, that guy's got some ego! And he doesn't mind letting everyone know it," I should still instead force myself to correct that mental course and ask myself "Even if that is one of his weaknesses, what does it seem like this guy is good at?" or "What should I appreciate about this coworker?" or "Should I wait a little longer until I've been around him a few days before I cast any judgment at all? I might find that he's not so bad, or even that he could be a new friend in disguise." (In the case of this Coworker #2, I had immediately put up a wall of negative judgment with no provocation on his part, and had to feel very sheepish inside when he showed no hesitation later in extending his good will and acceptance - how humbling!)

Leadership opportunities are everywhere, in every imaginable setting. Until we learn to see others in a positive light, and hold back on judging books by less attractive covers, we'll delay our ability to positively influence them because we haven't cultivated a sense of good will and friendliness. In fact, finding automatic reason not to like or respect someone will only close us off to wanting to influence them in any decent way, thus tricking ourselves out of a chance to make a difference in that person's life. But when we do take up the lens of accepting, approving, and appreciating and we lovingly give others that chance to show themselves for who they really are - which often just needs a little bit of time - we can certainly find something (or maybe a lot of things) to like and be appreciative of, so we can attach to them on a human level and swing wide the door for positive influence.

Everybody is a book. Not all of us have the best covers. I resolve that, no matter the looks of the cover, I'll take the time to open the book, get beyond the table of contents and even the first chapter before labeling someone, and no matter what label I may eventually find them worthy of, I'll always find the good in the other person so I can be a blessing to their life - not a judge.

For this, God give me strength!!

The Confrontation

I'm not talking about the bully at school. I'm not talking about the coworker who ruffles your feathers and seems to have it out for you. I'm not talking about your spouse or significant other. I'm talking about the hardest of all confrontations. The one from which you can run, but cannot hide.

It's confrontation with yourself - with brutal reality. 

Have you ever had that moment where you went through an experience and left it behind feeling somewhat content with the results, until someone else offered a different, more honest perspective about that same thing? What happens inside you when that takes place? Maybe we face it, fess up, and fuss not. Or maybe we duck the clobbering swing of that truth and hide behind the convenient excuse of "good enough" or another justification. 

I had the privilege of sharing in a similar experience very recently with a business partner. We were chatting about something that had taken place in our business where the result didn't go as hoped for, and even ended up being different than what it originally looked like it would be. The bottom line of this personal scenario was: my friend and business partner was willing to stare straight at the "scoreboard" of our situation, acknowledge it without wavering, and then ask the difficult questions so that we could hopefully grow from the learning. I, however, was a little more reluctant. I was willing to embrace the possibility of gray area that could slightly let us off the hook. I was willing to offer the possibility that we were being too hard on ourselves regarding the outcome. I was even enticed by the very crafty logic that "there is defeat in every victory, and victory in every defeat," therefore we should just focus on the victory in our defeat. 

The trouble with this type of thinking is that it gets us nowhere. To run from brutal reality is only to stunt your own growth, and potential for being a leader. To borrow from the wonderful world of sports, imagine it's halftime of a 24-0 whupping, the coach of his football team (who's receiving said whupping) tells his troops "You know what, guys... 24-0 ain't so bad. I think there's a lot to feel good about in that half. After all, we're not down 38-0! There's probably 2 touchdowns in there somewhere that we didn't give up." Would that coach be doing his men much good by suggesting their scoreboard's display wasn't so bad? Certainly not. Rather, confronting the reality that they need to go out and not only score 4 touchdowns, but also play immaculate defense the whole second half, in order to win, is exactly what should happen. That requires being tough on oneself. 

In personal growth, in business, in one's role in their family....in everything, we experience so much good from being willing to accept blame where blame is due. It's just the other side of the fairness coin, where we all agree that it's ok to accept praise where praise is due. For, as the joking expression goes, "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt." In order to change what's wrong, we have to accept it as wrong in the first place. We must be open to the reality that we aren't perfect, that mistakes will happen, and that only through learning from those mistakes can any future victories occur. 

So I'm thankful for the courage and integrity and hunger for excellence exhibited by my friend and business partner. He is worthy of the successes he'll receive in due time, because he is not only leading himself in the pivotal area of accepting blame for areas of failure and vowing to learn how to change through proper analysis and game-planning, but he's also leading others who would be wise to follow his example. I am blessed to associate with people who will set that example for me. 

Now the question is: What brutal realities do you need to face? What blame have you been dodging, and thus stunting your own personal growth? Where can you potentially find the freeing experience of seeking out and learning from failures displayed on life's scoreboard? Really, in this regard, the truth does set you free. It sets you free to move beyond stubbornness and pride. It sets you free to leave behind mediocrity because you won't take the excuses others accept for themselves. It sets you free to grow into the most excellent version of yourself you were made to be. And in so doing, you make of yourself just one more brushstroke in your life's canvass painting of positive influence on the world around you. 

And that influence, friends, is after all, the definition of leadership. 

Let's go have some confrontations!

God's blessings.

P.S. And to my good friend and business partner, herein mentioned, thank you. You know who you are. I'm blessed to have your leadership in my life. Keep doing what you do!

Has the Time Come?

Tonight I finished reading my copy of "LeaderShift: A Call for Americans to Finally Stand Up and Lead." My blog's purpose is not that of a book review. I don't consider myself qualified for that (I've got way too far to go to be an avid, much less diversified, reader). But I do want to put my thoughts out about this amazing piece of literature. What's more, I actually feel a shift taking place in this very blog entry, transforming my own humble little blog's purpose from that of leadership-related musings, to that of promoting the most important message in this day and age (secularly speaking): FREEDOM.

Ultimately, it's my sincere hope that anyone who comes across word of the book "LeaderShift" will get their hands on it. I hate to state it crassly, but the only group of people who this book isn't for is.........those who don't truly care about the future of our nation. Call that melodramatic, but if you ask me the one thing worse than the actual state of our country is the apathy and ignorance about it epitomized by so many of our citizens (among which I was one of the worst until very recently). But then again, I think many thousands, perhaps millions, do sense how grave things are, and yet they either A) think they have the solutions (but they don't, cuz their ideas are things that have already been tried and failed), B) think no solution exists, or C) want there to be a solution but they're too dizzied by the cacophony of opinions and platitudes on CNN or from their economics professors, or their drinking buddies, or coworkers, and so on... To all of you who do want there to be a real solution....finally....your answer has arrived. You MUST read this book!

Co-authors Oliver DeMille and Orrin Woodward used a captivating and easy-to-read narrative format for housing the delivery of an entirely fresh and profound proposal for the turnaround of our nation. Their thoughts have been guided by decades, collectively, of reading and studying historical accounts, literary works from the founding generation, the thoughts of the Classics, etc. Their intuitions have been impacted by their own personal and professional experiences. Their passion and vision comes from a humility and desire for embodying true leadership in their own lives that they are open to ideas that come from outside the box, and their logic is undeniable. At the end of the day, it's as Einstein said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results."

That's why I ask any who read this: Is it possible that we've been doing this as a country? Is it possible we've been banging out heads against the wall for a very, very long time? 

In my opinion, there are varying degrees of blame for that. There's no disguising the fact that, for some, the way our political system has been manipulated over the years is very advantageous. So why would anyone who adopts beneficial roles within such a system want anything to change? Actually, such individuals in power may be the only reason why traction for new ideas that can improve America's standing may be met with resistance. Everybody has heard the saying, that power corrupts. In reality, it's a matter of where the power is that determines the corruption.

What I'm saying - and what, in part, this wonderful book is saying - is: Isn't it time for Americans at large to take back the power? I'm not dressed all in black, cranking a heavy song by a band like Rise Against, promoting the idea of anarchy. Nowhere near that, actually. But what did the founding fathers and their associates do more than 250 years ago? Think about that....

"Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed."

-The Declaration of Independence

From this very poignant quote from one of our country's greatest documents I take 3 main points:

1. Americans have absolutely, no questions asked, undeniably been suffering evils that are impeding on our freedoms, and allowing a form of government to rise up into something that's turning our society away from the original ideals. And we've been suffering it for too long. 

2. It is no longer prudent for us as countrymen to sit idly by, claiming victimhood, and believing that it's not up to us to fix what's broken. For the masses, and each individual, to carry on believing that is to deny what was done once before, that enabled us to be free in the first place. If we think we shouldn't, or can't, abolish the forms to which we're accustomed (yet fed up with), we obviously don't know our history, and we really don't deserve our freedom then either. 

3. The time has come. The hour is getting late. Change must take place. We the people, each of us as individuals, must assume responsibility. 

"Sounds great, Jeff," you're saying? "Sounds so patriotic. I can practically hear the soundtrack to that movie Glory playing in the background right now! But what do I even do or how would it even look to re-enact what the likes of Jefferson, Hancock, Wythe, Harrison, Franklin, Clark, and Adams accomplished oh, so long ago?"

To that I simply reply: Read...this...book. Not only will you enjoy it, but you'll be stimulated in a way that you probably haven't been by a piece of literature before. Frankly, it'll put answers into your mind to those questions we've all been asking for a long time. I hope you're at least curious enough to check out a copy. If you know me personally, ask me for a copy. I bought several when they were released, and I plan on having none left for myself if I can get my way. I want this message out there, hands down.

Next time you step outside on a calm evening, just stand there and take it all in. The skies free of bombs. The streets and fields free of wreckage and pillaging. The peace with which you and your family can just hop into your vehicle and drive to your grocery store of choice, your church of choice, your movie theater of choice, and so forth. Just because these freedoms, and others, remain intact doesn't mean that others that are just as important aren't being dissolved out from under us. In fact, the ones that are disappearing as we all sit around complaining are the foundational ones. What happens to a house whose foundation has eroded, when the big bad storm comes bursting through? Think of your children at that moment, when freedom is the most comforting and sweet in your ears and eyes. Ask yourself if you want there to be any chance that, if things are as bad as some say, that they will inherit disaster, poverty, and collapse when your watch is over. Finally, ask yourself if you can think of anyone you've heard on the radio or seen on TV who's got a comforting solution to our deepest fears for this nation...

Then get this book and read it. Soon. 

Thank you for reading as usual. God bless you all, and God bless America...with leaders who are willing to finally stand up and lead in their own way. That can be you, and that can be me. Let's do this together. 

A Poem: Inspired by Chris Brady's "Obstacles"

Mediocrités

His coaxing hand upon my shoulder

I barely feel the alarm within

His nudge is so subtle as he grows bolder

He loves it when my light’s this dim

His whispering words distract my thoughts

His face looks so kind and peaceful

When he’s near me no wandering is caught

My courage cowers in thought of each woe

His melody of choice is the complaining drone

Yeah, his symphony is the whine of a child

The more we converse his dirge becomes my own

Til every dream I’ve dreamt is defiled

As he tells it, there’s no point to struggling

When there’s comfort waiting behind

As he sells it, his points get to snuggling

And excuses become all too easy to find

Do I know him well enough by now

To see through his devilish game?

Dare I fight the power of his undertow

When he so soothingly calls me by name?

I could choose to place finger upon the wrong

and insist that my dreams aren’t fabricated

Yet his eyebrows lower and wise head shakes so long

“You’re a long shot if God ever made it.”

I don’t want him to be right, I want to believe

That prosperity and peace can be mine

I don’t want to lose this fight, I want my reprieve

And to be free to turn loose the dying

Someone please jerk around this lazy head

And quiet the fool telling me lies

Comfort’s not what I seek, it’s the battle I want instead

And with battle-worn hands to hold the prize

Flee from me now, you who lure me to your dark

I spurn your wiles for wasting another minute

Your call is for a road that won’t see my foot’s mark

Greatness is my path and I will walk tall in it

JPU

5.31.13